A teardrop

----Bismillah---

Assalaamu Alaykum warahmatullah wabarakatuh, peace be upon ya'll!

Sometimes it is hard to go on with life because it all seems so blurry and so meaningless. It hurts to not enjoy what you loved the most, to always feel so empty inside, to forever be lonely even though you're surrounded by many who love you. Oh, how you wish people actually saw what was inside of you, how you wish they could read your mind and comfort your aching heart, but you feel all alone in this strange state of painful emotions and heartache. It feels as though there is an actual void in your heart--one you never knew existed. The worst thing about this is that you cannot ever remember the last time you ever had a genuine smile and felt happy. Most often you break down in tears yet you don't know or understand why your tears flow uncontrollably. This pain you're going through is so unbearable yet you choose to go through it alone because you do not wish to worry those you love. So, you struggle to fake your smile, to fake your laughter and to fake who you used to be. Often you seclude yourself so the need to "fake" anything does not rise---however, you really want this out of your system and would love someone to talk to, someone to lend you a shoulder to really cry on, someone to give you a comforting hug and tell you its going to be alright. The reality is though, people look at you but they never see the pain you hide inside. You ask "Am I really good at faking or do people just ignore me? or Is there anyone who could ever see through my eyes and see the scars in my heart?"

The answer is YES....there is someone who sees your every pain, hears your silent cries, and works very hard to heal your heart. Its no other but the one who created you from dust and the one you shall return to. Allaah ta'ala is closer to you than anyone and He can help you through anything. You just have to completely trust His divine help and give your heart to him.

PS: I know its hard to do that part because of feeling empty within, but know that help is only with Allaah, so if it hurts too much, be close to Him--talk to him through your prayers and let His divine words heal you. Also know that you're not alone in this state of depression and loneliness. Dont be afraid to talk to someone you trust---even if it means that person sees your weakness through the tears! Don't ever be scared of putting your feeling out there because concealing your pain only makes it worse----

If all fails, keep a journal and write away all that pain---trust me you're going to lose so many tears and will not be able to finish a page, but by the time you're done, you're going to feel a lot better insha'Allah and always make dua to Allaah and ask Him to heal your heart! </3

last tear of hope!

Assalaamu Alaykum, greetings to all who are reading this.
I hope my post reaches you in the best of health/imaan.

I just wanted to sort of write something I felt the urge to write about. The thing is life gets really tough at times. It is like a "rainbow-- you need the sun and the rain to make the colors appear." For a lot of us, we're so used to seeing the sunshine. We're used to being happy and content. The rain and the gloomy sad days are so rare that we dont usually remember how it felt like to be sad. On the other side of the spectrum, a good number of us never see the light of the sun. We're in a gray state of emotion in which we wear the colors of black. We never seem to stop to cry and think of all the bad that has happened to us. We're constantly in a state of sadness......in a depressive mood. We're the victims of low self esteem, the victims of life's painful moments, and the victims of despair. We lack the hope of a better day, our smile turns into a frown, and then we become zombie like creatures--living yet dead. We wake up everyday, do our chores, go to  school and then the cycle starts the next day and then the day after that. We are always trying to look and act normal----but what is normality anyway?? Is it happiness? is it an emotional state in which none of us can describe in words? is it like a roller coaster with its ups and downs? or is normality just LIFE as we know it?

I do not know the answers to this, but I do know one thing for certain and that is life can be really tough sometimes! if we dont have someone to help us get through it.....we might just end up rotten. Life is certainly an examination room, we do really bad on most of the days, but thats not an ultimatum for the overall grade. Imagine the following::

Some days are just unbareable, the energy is drained out, everday activities seem like torture, and every step is painful. Today and the past few days were like that. You try to get back up but fall back harder this time. Nothing seems to make sense....people ask whats wrong when nothing seems to be right. So, you end up in your room, tears rolling down your cheeks. You try to maintain your emotions, but you cant because you just exploded. You were always the type to seek perfection, the type that would bring joy and happiness to everyone around you. You were perfect at hiding your pain, perfect at putting on a smile, perfect at protecting everyone that you met---even the strangeres. You never wanted to share sadness because it is a burden on others. You were the light to every dark room, you always knew the right things to say to people. You knew very well how to hide your every pain, every disappointment, and every heartache. But the day has come, you stood there hoping someone would just give you a hug. You wanted to scream loud, you wanted to let your tears just flow down because you have had enough. You looked everywhere just so those around you could realize today is the day you sat on the "sad" chair....and that you needed a word of advice, a listening ear, or just a simple hug more than anything else. Unfortunately, no one seems to notice, the world passes through your face as you travel in a slow motion. Everyone is minding their own business and you somehow scream inside saying "cant you all see "I am" in need of help today? that I am longing for someone to hear me out?" But then it becomes clear to you that everyone out there has their own problems to deal with........so you turn to the only one who truly listens to every distressed soul.

It is no other but, Ar-Rahman! You turn to Allah knowing that he is there listening to your every cry----knowing that no matter what you're going through, you can get through with Allah by your side. A little smile escapes from your mouth, your heart feels at ease as you slowly begin to recite: {وَمَن يَتَّقِ اللَّهَ يَجْعَل لَّهُ مَخْرَجًا وَيَرْزُقْهُ مِنْ حَيْثُ لَا يَحْتَسِبُ ۚ وَمَن يَتَوَكَّلْ عَلَى اللَّهِ فَهُوَ حَسْبُهُ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ بَالِغُ أَمْرِهِ ۚ قَدْ جَعَلَ اللَّهُ لِكُلِّ شَيْءٍ قَدْرًا ... سَيَجْعَلُ اللَّهُ بَعْدَ عُسْرٍ يُسْرًا}


"And whoever fears Allah - He will make for him a way out, and will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah - then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. For everything, Allah has already set a [decreed] extent ... Allah will bring about ease after hardship."


So, you let your tears flow with so much hope and slowly begin to shed all your sorrow. You've had enough...so today is the day you're finally going to completely trust in Allah and know with certainty that "with with every difficulty there comes ease" it is a promise of Allah the most high.